Saturday, 31 July 2010

Prince Charming?

Prince Charming

Being a grown woman with a failed marriage behind me and in a healthy marriage now, with children of my own, I am at a point in my life where I know exactly what traits Prince Charming should have in order to be MY Prince Charming. I'm happy to admit that my husband fulfills my Prince Charming requirements.

But what about my daughters? What have they learned from me about Prince Charming and what they should look for in him? And what have they learned about him from their peers and the media? Have I raised my teenage girls to be the confident and capable women that I hope they will be? Am I raising my younger daughters in a way that will teach them what to look for?

And just as importantly, what have my sons learned from me about what it takes to BE someone's Prince Charming? Will my lessons to them stick despite other outside negative influences?

Here's what I hope they have learned from me, and I hope they have learned it well enough to ignore some of the conflicting lessons that their peers and the modern media might try and teach them.

1 - Prince Charming always treats his princess with respect.
2 - Prince Charming NEVER calls names or physically hurts his princess.
3 - Prince Charming is kind-hearted and empathetic towards others.
4 - Prince Charming values education and intellect in both himself and his princess.
5 - Prince Charming always sees his princess as beautiful, no matter what her weight is or whether or not she is having a bad hair day.
6 - Prince Charming is not afraid to show his emotions.
7 - Prince Charming is willing to do some of the cooking and cleaning in the house and does not expect his princess to do it all on her own, whether she works outside of the home or not.
8 - Prince Charming can be patient with his princess when needed.
9 - Prince Charming is good with children.
10 - Prince Charming is not afraid of a little hard work.
11 - Prince Charming knows how to behave romantically.
12 - Prince Charming understnads that "no" always means "no," and he will never pressure his princess into doing something she doesn't want to do.
13 - Prince Charming is faithful to his princess.
14 - Prince Charming does not ogle or otherwise lust after any women other than his princess.
15 - Prince Charming understands and is proud of the fact that his princess is strong and capable and can do anything she sets her mind to do.
16 - Prince Charming never belittles his princess's dreams and instead will do whatever he can to encourage and aid her in achieving her dreams.
17 - Prince Charming does not raise his voice or shout when he is angry but instead discusses differences calmly and without accusation.

I could add to the list, but basically, it all boils down to #1 - RESPECT. I want my sons to learn to respect the women in their lives and I want my daughters to feel respected and to know that they deserve to be respected.

Sometimes, with all of the outside influences and pressures that I know they face as they grow up, I know it can be an uphill battle, but if everyone teaches their children about respect, then maybe those outside influences will instead be influenced by the rest of us.

What do you hope your children, your little princesses and future Prince Charmings learn from you about how to treat one another?