"You've Lost Your Muchness"

"You used to be much more..."muchier." You've lost your muchness." ~The Mad Hatter (to Alice), "Alice In Wonderland" movie, 2010

This quote struck a note with me as I watched the new "Alice In Wonderland" movie last weekend. I think back to my own childhood, and I can't help but remember how confident and adventurous I was as a child. I don't know where along the way I lost those parts of myself, but somewhere along this journey of life, some of that confidence and my sense of adventure seeped away.

And as a mother of daughters, I feel a responsibilty to analyze where my "muchness" went and what caused me to lose so much of it. I can't help but want my daughters to keep all of their confidence, all of their sense of adventure, all of their belief in themselves, and not to let anyone or anything in this world take any of it away from them.

I grew up eager to please. I wanted to be liked. My parents taught me to be nice to others. I was expected to behave and be a good girl. I was taught, probably unintentionally, to subjugate my desires and my needs in order to fit in and to please others. I was a talkative, bubbly, confident child who believed in herself and had no doubts that I could change the world. But I was taught from the world around me, from my elders and my peers, that I talked too much, that I had many flaws and that no one person could change the world.

It took me many years to mature enough to finally start gaining back what I lost of myself over the years. I do not want that to happen to my daughters, and I don't want it to happen to anyone else's daughters either. We do our daughters a disservice when we expect them to conform to society, to be nice, to be "good girls" at the cost of being themselves.

My favorite quote from the movie "A Little Princess" is when the character Sarah Crew says,

"I am a princess. All girls are. Even if they dress in rags, even if they aren't pretty, or smart or young. They're still princesses. All of us."

I like this quote because I want every girl in the world to believe it. If a girl can believe she is a princess, then she can believe that she has value.

I want girls to maintain the same confidence and belief in themselves and their abilities throughout their lives that they have when they are two years old. How many two year olds do you know that don't say what they think? Tell a two year old that she is pretty, and she will, more often than not, answer you with, "I know," rather than the conformist "Thank you," or worse, the confidence-sapping "No, I'm not!" that I hear so often when I compliment any female.

Why do we lose our "muchness?" Why is it that we feel we must be something other than who we really are in order to be liked and loved and accepted? And what will it take for us (and our mothers, aunts, nieces, sisters and daughters) to truly BELIEVE in our own awesomeness?

So I have a challenge for you. This week, do something that you have been putting off out of fear. Speak to someone new, even if you are feeling shy. Try out some rock climbing, even if you don't believe you are strong enough. Send out the manuscript you wrote to a publisher, even if you are afraid of rejection. There are millions of things you can do to fulfill this challenge, from small, seemingly insignifcant things (like making a point to smile at the cute mailman who delivers your mail) to much bigger things (like singing on stage on front of a crowd). It's up to you to decide what to do. But do something brave.

And it'd be really great if you came back here and let us know in the comments what it was.

Win A Princess Magnet!

Princess Parade is on Facebook! Come become a fan of us there!

With the idea that being a princess is about girls being strong and believing in themselves, understanding that there is power in their femininity and that they deserve good things in life, including being treated well...

What 3 rules would you come up with for being a princess?

Answer this question on the Princess Parade's discussion boards on Facebook, and get a chance to win a free princess magnet. One random commenter who answers the question on the discussion boards will be selected using a random number generator.

Fairy Magic Photos Opportunity! (possible freebie!)

Fairy Magic Photos is giving a few people an opportunity that can't be beat! If you'd like a Fairy Magic Photo of your own, now is your chance as they are looking for 10 models for advertising. Please go to the discussion board at Fairy Magic Photos' Facebook page and let them know if you would like to be considered. Remember moms these pictures could be of your children. Or you could have a fairy photo created of you!

My husband is the artist that creates these photos, and when he decided to offer this chance, I had to share it with my readers, because these pictures are a $75 to $150 value! There are some conditions, but it's still a really great chance for a Fairy Magic photo of your own!

This is perfect for the little princess in your life!

The Little Princess Trust

I recently lost a lot of weight, and I promised myself that when I got myself down to my goal weight, I would celebrate by getting my hair cut and styled. I haven't had my hair cut in over 8 years, so it is really, really long.

I always intended to send my hair, once it was cut, to somewhere like Locks of Love, a charity that provides wigs for children who have lost their hair due to alopecia and cancer, but that is based in the US and I am in the UK. Fortunately, there is a UK counterpart to them called Little Princess Trust.

I've decided to send my hair to them. And I believe that it is a really worthy cause, so I am also running a short fundraiser to raise enough money for the full amount of creating a wig from the hair. I was told it would cost $455 (£300) to create one wig. Please help with this worthwhile charity! Once we reach the target amount, I will be videoing myself getting my hair chopped off (probably to just below my shoulders, and I'll post that video here.

Every little girl deserves to feel like a princess and to feel pretty. The amount of suffering a lack of a positive self-image causes in girls can have lasting effects. Just a little bit of help from all of us, and we can help prevent some of that suffering from happening and brighten a little girl's day.

You can donate below.


THANK YOU!

EDIT: The ChipIn widget is working in that it is taking donations and sending them to the Trust, but it is not working properly in that it is not showing the donation amounts. To date, $30 has been donated. I will update this edit to add any future donations to the total (until I can figure out how to get the widget to work properly.

Edit: The ChipIn Widget is working now! Hurry and contribute!

Why Little Girls Are Always Daddy’s Little Princesses

There is something about the innocence of youth that charms even the most hard-hearted soul.

A father has a difficult time when the innocence of youth is coupled with his protective instincts towards his daughter. Men are designed by nature (most of them, anyway) to want to protect females. And dads are programmed to feel protective towards their families. Daughters have the double whammy of being both female and family to their daddies, and when these two traits are combined with the charm of their youthful innocence and absolute dependence on their parents when they are young, daddies have no chance of escaping before they are wrapped securely around their little girls’ fingers.

It is easy to see how this happens as I watch my four year old daughter skillfully bat her eyelashes at her daddy after asking for something and softly intone, “Pleeeeeeeaase, Daddy?” when she is trying to wheedle him into buying her something new or taking her out to the park. I don’t know where she learned to bat her eyelashes, but she has done it since before she was walking.

Not all girls are naturally skilled in batting their eyelashes and pleading while exuding charm and sweetness. Some girls are defiant and challenge their dads at every turn. But even in this, a father’s built-in inability to resist his daughter kicks in; he exudes pride in how strong and independent his daughter is becoming. And because of this pride, he gives in to her requests as surely as if she had batted her eyelashes at him and used her cuteness to get what she wanted.

Most girls, though not all, go through stages. A girl begins by batting her eyelashes and saying truly adorable things, and her innocence and child-like charm begins the process of wrapping her daddy around her little finger. Then, as she matures, she develops into a headstrong, independent young girl, and daddy is already securely wrapped around her little finger, so this is when he begins the stage of being proud of her strong will and independence.

Not everyone fits the mould, but you’ll find that most daughters really can be called “Daddy’s Little Princess.” And daddies, for their part, don’t seem to mind any of it. When they first hold that sweet newborn baby girl in their arms, they’ve already begun the wrapping process.

Why Would You Want To Be A Princess?

I have it on direct authority (meaning my 4 year old daughter informed me) that being a princess is a really wonderful thing. And apparently, the main reasons it is a wonderful thing is because, as a princess, you get to wear pretty dresses that twirl and you are automatically beautiful.

As my four year old told me this, she motioned with her hands and a bit of a twist of her body to show how a dress would twirl, and then she batted her eyes at me in that way that only pretty little girls know instinctively to do when she spoke about being beautiful.



Unfortunately for my 3 year old son, being a prince is apparently not as wonderful as one would hope. As far as he can tell, it consists mostly of being bossed around by the princess.

Princess Isabella

My 4 year old Isabella is fascinated with everything having to do with princesses. A little bit before Christmas, we were on our way to see Santa Claus and I asked her what she was going to ask Santa for. She told me, "A pretty dress, so I can be a princess! I want a dress that twirls."

And Santa gave her what she wanted.


(Yes, her hair was still a mess as she had only recently woken up, but it was important to her to put the dress on and show it off as quickly as possible.)


(That's her 3 year old brother Connor in the photo with her. He often is forced to stand in as "Prince Charming" when his sisters Gabby and Bella play "pretend princesses." The background is a mess too, because they had all been opening their Christmas presents and everything was just strewn about the room.)